NSA – Bastion of Beautiful, Repressed Math Girls?

Benjamin: Can you sum up why NSA is a BA (badass) employment opportunity. I suggested it to a math friend int eh library and he wants to know more. I just need a paragraph, prestige, benefits, security, and badassery are all fine points. But I'm unfamiliar with the math section. Jessica: nothing is gonna look better on a resume for a math person man i dont know, how is that not enough? Benjamin: Not quite sure. I'll tell him it's a bastion of beautiful, respressed math girls. He's a confident and attractive young man, perhaps it'll be a good fit for him.
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Three Macs and a Toaster

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Who the F**K is Ruth Carter?

Most people by now have received a facebook friend request from someone they have never met.
Posted in Columbia University, Comedy | 2 Comments

Why HSBC Sucks

HSBC: bureaucratic hurdles for shits and giggles.
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Most Horrendous Gaffe Ever?

The president of a certain female liberal arts college once compared herself to the pope and the act of endorsing a political candidate to Jews devouring Christian babies.
Posted in Columbia University, Comedy, journalism | 1 Comment

Why I Go with My Mother to Work on Vacation

I've gone with my mother to her job these past days of winter break. If I didn't, I'd sleep till 10AM and watch TV and not exercise. Instead, my mom wakes me up at 7AM, I go to the local gym, and get a lot of work done without the distraction of the Internet. I feel very accomplished by 5PM. My mother is a molecular biology researcher at a global pharmaceuticals company. While she works at the lab bench with other oncologists on cancer drugs, I read books, blog, and sample every flavor of prepackaged espresso and tea in the lounge. On my third consecutive day at the office (more accurately described as a huge research and development complex with unique Swedish architecture), an employee finally asked me about what the hell I was doing there. Human resources employee Andrew approached me as I reached for the "Sumatran blend" flavor.
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How to Get Some Lean, Blue Ass

Jake Sully got away with infiltrating an alien clan, ruining a sacred arranged marriage, and betraying an entire planet's trust. Did I mention that he also got a piece of lean, blue ass?
Posted in TV & movies | 6 Comments

Why I Am Freezing to Death

I may soon have to heat water on the stove for a hot shower. Over the weekend, my father lowered the temperature of all the house's thermostats . He was afraid the heating oil tank in our basement did not contain enough oil to adequately heat our house through the new year's first weekend.
Posted in Comedy, Wellesley, holidays | 4 Comments

4 Bleak New Year’s Predictions

It's a new year, and already the world's off to a rough start. Last night I found myself telling a friend about my predictions for 2010. They're bleak. Maybe I have a fascination with the macabre and apocalyptic. But remember, if any of them turn out to be true, you saw it here first.
Posted in Current Events | 1 Comment

I Saw Mommy Dancing in a Thong With Santa Claus

My friend told me he was recently involved in an "epic incident." Since we go to different colleges, I asked him what happened. He sent me the following excerpt from his resident advisor's logbook. I assume he received it in the mail with the rest of the notice that said his school was suspending him for a semester.
Posted in Comedy, holidays | 4 Comments

Is CNN Always Like This?

You know it's Christmas when the anchor dances in her seat to Christmas jingles, the weatherman shares his personal travel plans, and the correspondents call each other by the wrong names.
Posted in Comedy, holidays, journalism | 1 Comment

Chinatown Bus, Worth the Risk?

If you ever step onto a Fung Wah bus and notice dozens of them hanging inside, DO NOT GET ON. Here's why...
Posted in Comedy, Travel | 1 Comment

Columbia Students Forget Their Sanity

Do Columbia students need to be sane human beings? What does it mean if we do?
Posted in Columbia University, Comedy | 3 Comments

Thanksgiving and a Blast From the Past

Hopefully everyone is having a fun Thanksgiving. If you are not, sexy pilgrims singing R&B will cheer you up.
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Evil Testing Serpent

"There should be some serious investigations into the nature of your shit."
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