My friend told me he was recently involved in an “epic incident.” Since we go to different colleges, I asked him what happened. He sent me the following excerpt from his resident advisor’s logbook. I assume he received it in the mail with the rest of the notice that said his school was suspending him for a semester.
Incident Narrative: April 11, 2009
RA Christensen was walking by Blanca and could hear a party coming from apartment 206 from outside. I went up to knock on the door, and Adam [friend in question] answered the door in a thong that said “Your place or mine”. He would not let me in the room because he said the girls are stripping. I was concerned and asked him if I could just take a peak. When I glanced in I saw around 10 people half naked or naked both guys and girls dancing. I became very uncomfortable and did not know how to respond to the situation. I told Adam that he could not be having this party, and I thought that the risk for an unwanted sexual advance was very high. He was not compliant and told me that he wanted to be written up. Feeling uncomfortable, I left and called campus safety to deal with the situation. I realize that it might be technically allowed, but it was raising MANY red flags in my mind. I can see people regretting that night later. When I walked outside, I could see people dancing and grinding naked on the tables. The blinds were not open but I was able to see through the blinds and one open window. Campus safety came, but I do not know the result of the situation. Also the night before, I saw Austin Martinson in the apartment dancing on a table in a thong with the blinds open, so I called the RA on duty.
“”
Once I stopped laughing, I realized this report creates more questions than answers. Some of these questions led me to believe RA Christensen is incompetent:
- Why did Adam answer the door in a thong? Have the decency to put on a bra or a bathrobe. Perhaps he was expecting an invited guest, but it’s still a big risk.
- It’s funny that the incident report is called an “incident narrative,” as if it has to be a well-told story.
- The RA wanted to “just take a peak.” This language made him/her sound like a peeping Tom implicit in the debauchery. I would’ve used “examine the situation.”
It’s interesting that the RA noted his/her own psychological state: “did not know how to respond to the situation.” I doubt many people, other than those who’ve been living nudist colonies, would. - “The risk for an unwanted sexual advance was very high.” At first, this seems possible, but on second thought, how could there possibly be “unwanted” sexual advances. Adam most likely planned the party as one giant sexual advance. We know that the ten participants at this point were either naked or half-naked. Anyone who’s feeling uncomfortable would’ve left or at least stopped dancing. It’s hard to imagine someone who couldn’t foresee a sexual advance at that point.
- Why did Adam want to be written up? How could he be both “not compliant” and willing to be written up? Why was he/she such a buzzkill by calling campus safety without first trying to stop the party him/herself or at least giving some advance warning?
- “I was able to see through the blinds” Did the RA have x-ray vision?
- The last sentence is completely unrelated to the incident at hand. Was Austin’s apartment the same as Adam’s? Austin could’ve been dancing in a thong by himself for all we know.
If you have answers or theories, please post them below.
4 Comments
“At first, this seems possible, but on second thought, how could there possibly be “unwanted” sexual advances.”
I flip open my consent manual…
“At the heart of consent is the idea that every person has a right to personal sovereignty – not to be acted upon by someone else in a sexual manner unless he or she gives clear consent ot do so.
With this idea comes the notion that consent can be broad or narrow, and can be limited, such as in cases where someone is willing to engage in some forms of sexual activity, but not others.
Consent to one form of sexual activity does not automatically imply consent to other forms of sexual activity. kissing someone does not grant that person sexual license or give consent for sexual activity to progress further.
Consent means you can’t make assumptions about what your partner does or does not want. Lack of clear signals does not indicate consent. No means no, but nothing also means no. Silence and passivity does not equal consent.”
Well, I have been taken to school. Your argument is quite valid.
Two things:
One, I really wish I was at this party.
Two, yes consent must be given but a sexual advance is just that, an attempt. Attempted sexual advances can and do happen everywhere and can be turned down everywhere. Does this RA stop students from flirting everywhere on campus? For instance the cafeteria? I wouldn’t think so.
Haha, the report definitely does make the RA sound like a creepy peeping Tom. It also makes it sound like the RA wanted to write up the party simply because s/he thought people might regret it later, which I think could justify an attempted intervention but not a write-up.
But in terms of the consent, I don’t see a high potential for unwanted sexual advances unless there was a lot of alcohol involved (the description doesn’t mention alcohol, so I assume it wasn’t a large factor). Dancing naked on a table and grinding naked with others is a gigantic sexual advance and announces to everyone else in the room that you’re consenting to sexual advances. It doesn’t mean that you’re consenting to sexual activity, but I think it’s pretty clear in that case that sexual advances were welcome in that case (provided that the advances do not in themselves consist of unwanted sexual activity–e.g. copping a feel).
Also, blinds can be “not open” (as in not pulled to the top of the window) but can still be seen through if the blinds are angled right. One can be non-compliant and want to be written up, a la “Fuck you, I’m having this party whether you like it or not. Write me up and see how much I care.” Also, I could easily see a partying college kid answering the door in a thong (yes, probably expecting fellow partiers). Still, I don’t think the RA handled it as well as s/he could have.