Comments on: I Saw Mommy Dancing in a Thong With Santa Claus

By: Scott Dobbins

Scott Dobbins — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 19:18:30 +0000

Haha, the report definitely does make the RA sound like a creepy peeping Tom. It also makes it sound like the RA wanted to write up the party simply because s/he thought people might regret it later, which I think could justify an attempted intervention but not a write-up.

But in terms of the consent, I don’t see a high potential for unwanted sexual advances unless there was a lot of alcohol involved (the description doesn’t mention alcohol, so I assume it wasn’t a large factor). Dancing naked on a table and grinding naked with others is a gigantic sexual advance and announces to everyone else in the room that you’re consenting to sexual advances. It doesn’t mean that you’re consenting to sexual activity, but I think it’s pretty clear in that case that sexual advances were welcome in that case (provided that the advances do not in themselves consist of unwanted sexual activity–e.g. copping a feel).

Also, blinds can be “not open” (as in not pulled to the top of the window) but can still be seen through if the blinds are angled right. One can be non-compliant and want to be written up, a la “Fuck you, I’m having this party whether you like it or not. Write me up and see how much I care.” Also, I could easily see a partying college kid answering the door in a thong (yes, probably expecting fellow partiers). Still, I don’t think the RA handled it as well as s/he could have.

By: Professor

Professor — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 19:57:49 +0000

Two things:

One, I really wish I was at this party.

Two, yes consent must be given but a sexual advance is just that, an attempt. Attempted sexual advances can and do happen everywhere and can be turned down everywhere. Does this RA stop students from flirting everywhere on campus? For instance the cafeteria? I wouldn’t think so.

By: David Xia

David Xia — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 15:29:56 +0000

Well, I have been taken to school. Your argument is quite valid.

By: David Zhou

David Zhou — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 22:35:51 +0000

“At first, this seems possible, but on second thought, how could there possibly be “unwanted” sexual advances.”

I flip open my consent manual…

“At the heart of consent is the idea that every person has a right to personal sovereignty – not to be acted upon by someone else in a sexual manner unless he or she gives clear consent ot do so.

With this idea comes the notion that consent can be broad or narrow, and can be limited, such as in cases where someone is willing to engage in some forms of sexual activity, but not others.

Consent to one form of sexual activity does not automatically imply consent to other forms of sexual activity. kissing someone does not grant that person sexual license or give consent for sexual activity to progress further.

Consent means you can’t make assumptions about what your partner does or does not want. Lack of clear signals does not indicate consent. No means no, but nothing also means no. Silence and passivity does not equal consent.”