Category Archives: holidays

Why I Go with My Mother to Work on Vacation

I've gone with my mother to her job these past days of winter break. If I didn't, I'd sleep till 10AM and watch TV and not exercise. Instead, my mom wakes me up at 7AM, I go to the local gym, and get a lot of work done without the distraction of the Internet. I feel very accomplished by 5PM. My mother is a molecular biology researcher at a global pharmaceuticals company. While she works at the lab bench with other oncologists on cancer drugs, I read books, blog, and sample every flavor of prepackaged espresso and tea in the lounge. On my third consecutive day at the office (more accurately described as a huge research and development complex with unique Swedish architecture), an employee finally asked me about what the hell I was doing there. Human resources employee Andrew approached me as I reached for the "Sumatran blend" flavor.
Also posted in Columbia University, Comedy | Leave a comment

Why I Am Freezing to Death

I may soon have to heat water on the stove for a hot shower. Over the weekend, my father lowered the temperature of all the house's thermostats . He was afraid the heating oil tank in our basement did not contain enough oil to adequately heat our house through the new year's first weekend.
Also posted in Comedy, Wellesley | 4 Comments

I Saw Mommy Dancing in a Thong With Santa Claus

My friend told me he was recently involved in an "epic incident." Since we go to different colleges, I asked him what happened. He sent me the following excerpt from his resident advisor's logbook. I assume he received it in the mail with the rest of the notice that said his school was suspending him for a semester.
Also posted in Comedy | 4 Comments

Is CNN Always Like This?

You know it's Christmas when the anchor dances in her seat to Christmas jingles, the weatherman shares his personal travel plans, and the correspondents call each other by the wrong names.
Also posted in Comedy, journalism | 1 Comment

Go Ahead, Feed the Fish

Spartan33x saw his last team member die. The terrorist had emptied an entire 30-round magazine of 7.62mm bullets from the AK-47 into his friend’s body, which was now lying unrecognizable heap on the floor. The carnage was terrible. Shredded Kevlar and seared chunks of flesh lay strewn about the hallway as blood [...]
Also posted in China | Comments closed