Easily Amused ⊆ The world is a comedy to those that think... ⊆ Page 3

My Uncle’s Sleeping With His Boss

By David Xia | Published: June 11, 2010

One of my uncles is a director for a Hong Kong-based fuse manufacturing firm. The CEO, a short, 66-year-old man from Hong Kong, is a demanding boss. Working for him is like being on-call as a military triage surgeon in Helmand, Afghanistan. He often sleeps in till noon, comes home at 9pm, and receives a call from the CEO shortly thereafter asking him to come play mahjong or drink tea. This means my uncle will be gone until 1 or 2am. Sometimes he doesn't come home for dinner at all. He'll go to sleep late and do it again the next day.

Posted in China, Comedy | Leave a comment

Women Who Pee Standing Up

By David Xia | Published: June 10, 2010

I hear it. Oh, my god! I feel it! I was standing on a quiet, dark street. The girl pulled her underwear back up. Fortunately, nothing had splashed on me.

Posted in Columbia University, Comedy, New York City | Leave a comment

Smells Like Something Died in Here

By David Xia | Published: June 9, 2010

If your car smells like an animal crawled in there and died, chances are one actually did. A month ago, my mom noticed a funky odor in her gray Subaru. According to her, it smelled like "rotten pork." At first, she tried airing out the car, but that didn't work. She searched the car for trash, food, anything that could be the culprit. Under the seats, in the glove compartment, the trunk, car door compartments. Nothing. The smell grew stronger every day.

Posted in Comedy | 1 Comment

Obama Spotted Eating Shit All Day Long

By David Xia | Published: June 8, 2010

I'm not surprised President Obama said The Wire was his favorite television show. We all know he's had his share of shit bowls to eat from.

Posted in TV & movies | Leave a comment

Do You Eat Strange Fungi?

By David Xia | Published: June 5, 2010

My mom made duck soup the other day. The recipe is simple: duck, water, wolfberry, and a parasitic fungus that hijacks the brains of insects turning them into zombies.

Posted in China | Leave a comment

What’s Your Favorite Beverage?

By David Xia | Published: June 2, 2010

"What's your favorite beverage?" my friend asked me one day. We were sitting on a curb outside of a small concert space in hipster-territory Williamsburg, New York. "Water," I replied. "That's such a David Xia answer," he chuckled.

Posted in Books, journalism | Leave a comment

Lost Over, Back to Good Shows

By David Xia | Published: May 29, 2010

Having watched the series finale of ABC's Lost, I finally have time to start watching shows that are still good and that I actually care about.

Posted in TV & movies | Leave a comment

How I Got Pulled Over and Had My Identity Stolen

By David Xia | Published: May 28, 2010

Two days after I graduated from Columbia University, I was pulled over by the police for the first time and my identity was stolen. It was like life saying, "Welcome to the real world" while giving two quick jabs to my face.

Posted in Columbia University, Comedy | 2 Comments

NSA – Bastion of Beautiful, Repressed Math Girls?

By David Xia | Published: February 19, 2010

Benjamin: Can you sum up why NSA is a BA (badass) employment opportunity. I suggested it to a math friend int eh library and he wants to know more. I just need a paragraph, prestige, benefits, security, and badassery are all fine points. But I'm unfamiliar with the math section. Jessica: nothing is gonna look better on a resume for a math person man i dont know, how is that not enough? Benjamin: Not quite sure. I'll tell him it's a bastion of beautiful, respressed math girls. He's a confident and attractive young man, perhaps it'll be a good fit for him.

Posted in Comedy, Intelligence Community | Leave a comment

Three Macs and a Toaster

By David Xia | Published: January 26, 2010

Posted in Comedy | 2 Comments

Who the F**K is Ruth Carter?

By David Xia | Published: January 25, 2010

Most people by now have received a facebook friend request from someone they have never met.

Posted in Columbia University, Comedy | 2 Comments

Why HSBC Sucks

By David Xia | Published: January 18, 2010

HSBC is not "the world's local bank" as their motto states. You'll find branches in 86 countries on every single continent, but each region's HSBC is an entirely separate bank.

I opened an account in Hong Kong's HSBC last summer. When I left the country, I left behind a sizeable chunk of change in the HK HSBC account. Now I want it back so I can close the HK HSBC

Posted in Comedy, Travel | 2 Comments

Most Horrendous Gaffe Ever?

By David Xia | Published: January 11, 2010

The president of a certain female liberal arts college once compared herself to the pope and the act of endorsing a political candidate to Jews devouring Christian babies.

Posted in Columbia University, Comedy, journalism | 1 Comment

Why I Go with My Mother to Work on Vacation

By David Xia | Published: January 11, 2010

I've gone with my mother to her job these past days of winter break. If I didn't, I'd sleep till 10AM and watch TV and not exercise. Instead, my mom wakes me up at 7AM, I go to the local gym, and get a lot of work done without the distraction of the Internet. I feel very accomplished by 5PM. My mother is a molecular biology researcher at a global pharmaceuticals company. While she works at the lab bench with other oncologists on cancer drugs, I read books, blog, and sample every flavor of prepackaged espresso and tea in the lounge. On my third consecutive day at the office (more accurately described as a huge research and development complex with unique Swedish architecture), an employee finally asked me about what the hell I was doing there. Human resources employee Andrew approached me as I reached for the "Sumatran blend" flavor.

Posted in Columbia University, Comedy, holidays | Leave a comment

How to Get Some Lean, Blue Ass

By David Xia | Published: January 6, 2010

Jake Sully got away with infiltrating an alien clan, ruining a sacred arranged marriage, and betraying an entire planet's trust. Did I mention that he also got a piece of lean, blue ass?

Posted in TV & movies | 6 Comments

The world is a comedy to those that think…