The following is taken from an e-mail I received from a colleague who having heard of my job hunting, told me to check out the National Security Agency. As further proof of his proposition that the NSA was a good place for math majors, he pasted into the e-mail a conversation he had with someone who currently works there.

Benjamin: Can you sum up why NSA is a BA (badass) employment opportunity. I suggested it to a math friend int eh [sic] library and he wants to know more. I just need a paragraph, prestige, benefits, security, and badassery are all fine points. But I’m unfamiliar with the math section.

Most people by now have received a facebook friend request from someone they have never met. After looking at their profile, they probably wish they’ll never meet them in the future. My solution is just to post a random picture on their wall. For example, for Ruth Carter, who by now has probably friended half of Columbia University, I sent her a photo of a hedgehog playing with a Playskool dumptruck.

This is part two of a long-running saga. Read part two.

HSBC is not “the world’s local bank” as their motto states. You’ll find branches in 86 countries on every single continent, but each region’s HSBC is an entirely separate bank.

I opened an account in Hong Kong’s HSBC  last summer. When I left the country, I left behind a sizeable chunk of change in the HK HSBC account. Now I want it back so I can close the HK HSBC account and transfer the money to my US HSBC account. I could also use the extra cash. I found out today what this process will require:

I’ve gone with my mother to her job these past days of winter break. If I didn’t, I’d sleep till 10AM and watch TV and not exercise. Instead, my mom wakes me up at 7AM, I go to the local gym, and get a lot of work done without the distraction of the Internet. I feel very accomplished by 5PM.

The president of a certain female liberal arts college once compared herself to the pope and the act of endorsing a political candidate to Jews devouring Christian babies.

Jake Sully got away with infiltrating an alien clan, ruining a sacred arranged marriage, and betraying an entire planet’s trust. Did I mention that he also got a piece of lean, blue ass?

I may soon have to heat water on the stove for a hot shower. Over the weekend, my father lowered the temperature of all the house’s thermostats. He was afraid the heating oil tank in our basement did not contain enough oil to adequately heat our house through the new year’s first weekend.

What a bargain

It’s a new year, and already the world’s off to a rough start. Last night I found myself telling a friend about my predictions for 2010. They’re bleak. Maybe I have a fascination with the macabre and apocalyptic. But remember, if any of them turn out to be true, you saw it here first.